Love

Prem gali aati sankri ja main do na samaye 

Main hu to wo naaye wo hai to main naaye

The street of love is very narrow and two won't pass through

If I come then he can't and if does then I can't

Love, I can't believe that I have met you. That I ever did something so good that I deserved to meet you. To see you, to touch you and mostly to love you. From the time I saw you, something changed inside me. Something transformed. Something blossomed. With each growing day i want to become more and more like you. Become more you. I don't think it will ever matter if you love me back or not. I love you and that the universe chose me to love you is the most sacred thing to me. Who won't love you? But you grace me, overwhelm me. You acknowledge my love. 

Words will never do, but let me try again. I love you

Me Today

Hello World! Its me again. Yes, the same old. I have nothing new for you. I know that happens time and again. I do have a few good recipes to share but they are such a pain to write, especially when you cook with approximation but need to write with exaction. Anyways I will tell you whats up with my life. I know thats a first, but I guess todays your lucky day!

Well to start with I have Conjunctivitis (I shall be surprised if you don't know that already). I am quite the sulker when it comes to being sick and I have sulked my way through phone calls and Facebook. Yeah, so I don't have pink eyes or any discharge. There was slight swelling in the first few days but that is gone too. So actually I am perfectly fine! But according to my doctor I am still infectious. And no not just my enthusiasm, charm and good cheer, she meant the disease. So basically I am all well but just under house arrest (not that I am really staying at home).

Yesterday I went for this modern Meena Bazaar, a crazy shopping hub for women (or as they would prefer to be called- ladies). Sellers from all around the region had come and displayed their wares (mostly clothes) and women were shopping like crazy. The whole place drove me crazy! Do we actually like clothes that much? Yes, we women! We, who speak of womens liberation and equal rights and personalities and all those fancy shmancy things. At the end of the day, we need clothes and shoes and bags and makeup to make us feel worth ourselves. Is that all? Look great and pull men? It depresses me beyond measure. But to think a bit more, obviously nothing else works for men. They need their women to be looking the part if they are to love them. Most men and women will protest I am going mental and none of this is true. I am sure there are a lot of us who aren't like that (me! me ! me!) but aren't there more who are. By the way the name of the shopping bazaar was 'Vanity Fair'. Apt, huh?

Today, I met a friend of mine for coffee. We do that often. Sometimes we don't even drink coffee. We just sit and chat about absolutely nothing. Like talk talk talk and never run out of things to laugh about. Other peoples children, common friends, common enemies, love, life, food, fat, coffee, work.... People have said we could be twins. Maybe we were!

Thats all of my roller coaster brain ride today. I completely know how terribly interested you were to know about my uber cool life. You are totally welcome!

Being an Indian

When I was much younger, my father often encouraged me take up debating in school competitions. Though his attempt remained mostly unsuccessful at that, I do remember an anecdote of his till today, which is very important for my definition of being an Indian. 

When my father was in college, he took part in a Punjabi debate competition the topic for which was - 'Rabba main nai jana swargan'ch apne Punjab nu chad ke'. This literally translates as 'God I don’t want to leave my Punjab even for the heavens'. Well, as the competition began, speakers started coming and enumerating the good qualities of Punjab. Some spoke about its green fields, some about its strong men, some about economic prosperity and some about the vibrant culture. Nobody wanted to leave a Punjab so in its glory. Then came another student, ordinary like all others and said - Yes, Punjab is beautiful and bountiful. Yes, it is rich in its finances and culture. Yes, its strength of men and community is unrivalled. But, nevertheless today Punjab is riddled with corruption, greed and nepotism. Drug and alcohol abuse is rampant and so is crime and violence. Female foeticide and illiteracy are on a never before high. And till the time I don't set these things right, O Lord, I am not going to leave my Punjab even for your heavens.

For me this speaker was the only one who knew what is the true meaning of loyalty/ patriotism. It is very easy to belong to groups, communities or nations who are doing well. It does not take much to sell up everything and get a Canadian or British Passport. If you do that, then lovely; I am glad you know your priorities. But do not call yourself an Indian then. You may wear saris and kurtas, eath pranthas and drink lassi and be a sucker for bollywood but this makes no one more an Indian than Tony Blair or Madonna. Britain’s most popular food is Indian 'curry', how many Brits can be called Indian because of that? Bhangra is a worldwide hit. Everyone who dances on its tune is not Punjabi/ Indian. To be Indian is to know that for better or worse this is my country. I am made up its soil. Come what may, all my efforts go towards the progress and development of my country. If my country is doing well, I will glorify it and if it is not, I will set things right. To the armchair critic who can only sit and complain about the politicians and the bureaucracy, I can only repeat what our ex-Prez A P J Kalam had said- Don't ask what has your country given you, ask what have you given to your country! See the entire message - http://knol.google.com/k/tarun-kumar-jaiswal/dr-a-p-j-abdul-kalam/1btwx9eo0j9p3/9#

 

So today, after you have read this, do stand in front of the mirror, look into your own eyes and ask yourself- 

Am I actually an Indian or do I simply like Indianess? 

If your hair stands on its ends at the question and gooseflesh spreads, you will know what I mean and everything will illuminate itself then.

Angels in my Garden

Hey! This is a picture of my garden in India. And the angels in it.The pictures were taken during a rainy night with a flash camera. If you don't know what the angels part means read this.

And now, as a spoof of 'Which one is the angel?',I present to you

Where is the angel?

Racism

I have not been posting much since month as I was very busy in packing and leaving for Bristol. Now that I am here, let me start. Firstly Bristol is nice and pretty. I don't know why but the word beautiful does not seem fit here. It is a great city to walk about, enjoy the weather and cozy up with some loved one(s). But, exactly that makes it such an unlikely place to bury yourself in books. Anyways, I will leave myself to discover the fine balance between the two polarities for later on. Before coming here I was really worried about racism. I talked to a few people about it and here is what we came up with.

MOM : I think you study hard and become the monitor of your class. People will respect you and be attracted towards you.

Umm thanks Mom! That is a great idea for Utopia but not Bristolia.

Now Ali and I spoke about this, and he give alot of ideas. All his replies are to if some Brit says ' You bloody Paki!' or something similar.

ALI : Yes, Darth Vader!

ALI: Yes, you bloody German!

ALI : I am Paki and you are Potty!

I loved Ali's ideas and I think I should try them just to see the look on the racist's face.

Last I spoke to Ramnik Sir about it. He said first thing don't bother about all this. But never take any disrespect. So when someone says ' We ruled your country!'

RAMNIK : ' Actually, you struggled to rule us for 300 years but failed and went away at last!'

He said it with such pride, I instantly knew what it meant. Nothing in the world beats being an Indian. And the more time I spend abroad, the more it becomes apparent. The feeling is entirely experential. Nothing I say can make you feel what I have.

But back to the point, yes these are some nice healthy ways of responding when faced with racism. Have you any other ideas?

Five Great Date Ideas

Get Your Feet Scrubbed!I mean get a pedicure, or another such relaxing beauty treatment. A head massage, back/ body massage for a couple can be good substitutes, depending on your level of intimacy. But a pedicure tops my list for it not only allows you to get relaxed and clean but also talk simultaneously which is an important ingredient of a good date.

Breathe!The logic behind this is if you are happy with yourselves, you will be happy with each other. So light up a few nice candles, put up a nice meditation CD and both of relax into divine bliss. If you are particularly experimental you can try chanting or dancing meditations as well. But remember, all of this happens with eyes closed.

Go Back to School!Take a class together. Find a short course which is either a couple of hours or if you think you can bear it, a couple of days. In the honeymoon period, a good idea is to take a class which interests both partners. Later on, to spice up things learn something about which none of you have a clue . Few fun ideas are pottery,chocolate making,wine tasting, salsa, photography, vegan cooking, yoga.

See the Unseen!Buy a Traveler’s Guide about your own city. Then, mark out the things both of you haven’t seen. Make it adate by visiting all those places in your city you have never visited. Trust me, you will be surprised at the hidden treasures in your city.

Blind your double!This one is for the daring adventure seekers. Fix you partner with a blind date and let him/her do the same for you. Then all of go out together for a double date. Don’t let the blind dates know that you guys are already together. Enjoy the comedy (or the tragedy) that ensues. Caution : Doing this too often can lead to pre-mature breakup.

My UP Story

As per Bawa's Weekend Competition, this is my entry. He has not declared the winner yet, so I have my fingers crossed.

The sun had been UP for hours. As he woke UP after midday, he could not make UP his mind about what to do next. Life was all UP and around him still he felt left out, unable to keep UP with it. He got UP, fiddled around for a while and then went UP the stairs to watch some television. As raised UP the volume he saw his favorite team was winning by being 57 runs UP. Yet, this brought him satisfaction only UP to an extent. He had a nagging doubt in his mind that his life was UP. He could add UP all he had done till today in a nanosecond. And the total was only something which brought UP his despair more explicitly in front of his eyes. He felt that UP till now, his life had been a mere zilch. Being born and brought UP in an obscenely rich family which way was way too UP in society, he never was given the encouragement to stand UP on his own feet. Leaving the thought of his uselessness he strolled UP to the kitchen. He saw the cook lying on the shelves with his face UP. He suddenly spoke UP, "Oi! Why are you always UP to nothing? Get your butt UP before I beat you UP. Get UP before my temper flares UP and I hang you on the road UP some street light." The cook being used to such impotent threats took his pleasant time in getting UP. He yelled again, "Oi! Hurry UP and make me some eggs! Sunnyside UP!"The cook took no notice. The sudden UPs and downs in his master's behavior were not new to him. He had given UP any hope for change and had learnt to put UP with him. As he gobbled UP his eggs and toast, he felt a sudden urge to do something today. It had been very long since a desire to be in useful in any way had reared UP its head. But he decided to go with it and not stand UP against it. After all, sometimes even million dollar babies want to face UP the biting realities of life. He hurriedly climbed UP the stairs again and took a shower. He got dressed UP and gelled his hair to stay UP in a stylish Mohawk. As he strode UP to his sports car, he noticed that the sun was high UP in the sky. Not being used to such bright sunshine, he covered UP his eyes with his hand. He drove UP to his father's office at a leisurely pace. As he reached the street of the office, he realized it packed with cars UP to limit. For a moment, he thought of turning around and giving UP this being a good-boy-today, but then he churned UP his brain again and decided to stay. He parked the car UP on the footpath and got out and walked UP the road. When he stopped, he looked UP the street to see the towering office, standing UP alone, one of its kinds UP north. A sudden pride surged UP in him. He felt that if he came UP here every day, things may begin to look UP. Of course, he was not UP for everything that happened inside the office. Things needed to be stirred UP. To be set UP in a new, more him-friendly atmosphere. He realized if that was ever done and worse kept UP with, this large family business would die out in a year. He had put UP no lies about himself in his mind. He knew he was a lazy loser. Again throwing UP his vestigial thoughts into the air for no one particular to catch he walked UP to the office door. The gateman for a moment froze UP to see the important yet infrequent visitor. He relaxed after a few seconds and opened UP the gate for the visitor. As he marched inside he noticed like always the office was UP to the mark. Suddenly his gazed got fixed UP on the ceiling. UP there was a tiny lizard. It was running UP and down, shooting UP its tail now and then. Gazing fixedly UPon the lizard, a new analogy to his previous realization crept UP, slowly rising in him. He was like this little lizard, UP on the ceiling of the world, thinking it was all UP to him to hold the ceiling. If he ever moved, the ceiling would fall and break UP into a million pieces. Poor misled lizard and poor misled him! But it was all his own doing. He had blown UP this bubble of the lizard world. And now he had to live UP to it before someone came UP and burst it UP. Time was UP. Today he will do something definite. He took a deep breath. He could not sometimes surface UP in the clutter of his own mind. The confusion in his mind left him all roiled UP. He just wanted to shove these thoughts UP somewhere once and for all. Unable to keep UP with his mess of a brain, he walked towards the elevator and pressed the UP button. As the elevator door opened UP, he saw inside the face of his cousin- the very same one who had beaten him UP black and blue as a child and now had lapped UP his father and become his favorite. He walked UP to his cousin and shook hands. The door closed UP and the elevator began to go UP. The boys first kept quiet and then managed to start UP a polite conversation. As the elevator reached UP to the top floor, they sighed with relief for none of them was being able to keep UP the conversation. They both walked UP to his father's office. The father too was shaken UP to see his son. All three men whipped UP the same old pleasantries. The cousin left the office, lest he blends UP things to become more awkward. The father gave him a complete UP and down look. Finally he asked him, "What's UP? What brings you UP here today?" He stayed muted UP for a few minutes. Then he moved UP to his father and looked into his eyes and said, "You know what is UP. Please stop pumping UP this big ball of pretense. You know things are so mixed UP between us that if we don't fix them UP now, we never may again." The father was again shaken UP. Not in long time had such emotions been tossed UP inside of him. Instinctively, he went UP to his son and hugged him. The son looked too placid all of a sudden. He drew UP a dagger from his hip pocket and thrust it inside his father's guts.
At night, when the moon was UP, he slept silently covered UP with his blanket. Tonight was different. He won't be UP till early hours. The insomnia was gone. Softly he dreamed of the old man lying on the floor, spewing UP blood.

Pull me a Face!

Some teachers pride themselves for teaching and some pride themselves for getting a salary. They are easily distinguishable from the way they teach, their strictness in punishment and tolerance of humour in classroom. The former are obviously much agreeable. But the problem is that you may not like to attend classes of either or for that matter any classes at all. So to save you from the dungeons of hell, I have come out with my first hand experience of facial expressions which when pulled will help you go through these classes unnoticed, undisturbed.

Teaching teachersFor them you ought to look pleasantly interested. A slight smile, eyes a little wide open and nodding gently now and then.


The other kind
A look that says I am seriously interested. A decent frown, eyes small as if narrowed with concentration. If you can manage to look totally non-kissable while pouting, then pout.


Golden Rule
Practice at home in front of a mirror before trying the face in front of a prof.
Best of Luck!

Special thanks to Ali for being the great model for these pictures.

Hello There

So this is my new blog! I like this so much better than msn live spaces. Firstly it takes so much lesser time to load. It is easier to use and is definitely much better looking as well. Yes, so being a student of literature (techno n0t-savy), I tried my best to import my previous blog. But all in vain! So I have just copy pasted the blog entries. The photos of course are missing. But if you really want to see them, which I whole heartedly doubt, just visit- www.waamed.spaces.live.com

Well, now keep reading my blogs!

Bye

FIND ME SLEEP

August 29 2006

well the clocks showing 3 40 am..and i just can not have myself to fall asleep
aarrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wish i could call this insomnia for insomnia sounds so elite....
but i just snored the whole day through n thus now i am being punished
thanks God of Sleep....you are one kind one!
hmph!
oh to hell with it all!
this stupid fever and sore throat
and this sleepless night!
damned be those who wish evil for me!
damned be them all!

now i was just going through some blogs and i fail to understand why people write abstractly
(just read my first entry 'ummm' and you will know what i am talking about)
i mean whats all this pretence of abstracting the mundane
stupid busters all of them!
(i mean yes i did it too but hell! that was more than a year back...so u see it does not apply anymore)
i mean good writing is not about just throwing a few whiffs of vague crap into air wrapped in ordinary sentiment
gawd no!
that is just so indicative of evasion and irritatio toward real life!
and how annoying are those abstract poems
solemn night,
stars met
moon shone
on ur fagged potty so damn wet!
directionless poetry has really no place in a time like todays
i mean people do not have time to read smss, honestly see the probability of going through ryhmes without sense
lord ! the nonsense of it all.....

hmm...its close to 4 o clock n no signs of slumber yet
i guess i should just carry on this post
atleast the person who reads it will be able to sleep....haha

anyways i just vandalised a lot of accounts on orkut
hehe!
i scrapped my friends how happy i was on them getting engaged
no points for guessing none of them are
hoping this will start an vile series of rumours in each of thier lives
its so great to feel possesed by calvin!!!
woo-hoo!
(the horns are being polished and the tail sharpend)


ok here i go my final prayer to God of Sleep

oh thou great creater of sleep
fill my eyes wd slumber
pour some drowsiness into them
make them dull make them number

take away my vibrant libido
make me yawn , once and again
make me yearn bedding and soft pillows
and movement and activity disdain

embrace me infold me
let me not abscond
tie me tight tie me hard
in your snoozorama bond
amen

now im off to hit the sack because
bhagwan ke ghar main der hai andher nahi


(4 15 am)

I REMEMBER

July 01 2006

whenever i think about days back at carmel, i start smiling reflexively. school days are really awesome! even though i used to crib crazy then about getting up early morning and having school on saturdays and all that insignificant jing-bang, i know those times were heaven.
i remember how when i was quite younger (like from kindergarten till second grade) my tummy would hurt every morning inevitably.my brother makes fun of me still but apparently it really is a medical condition which is called RAP, abbreviated for recurrent abdominal pain. (so farts to you ali.)
i remember how easy it was to bunk amrita ma'ams class
i remember then how great we became at bunking any teachers class. with our mighty skill of persuasion and sympathy attracting babmi eyes, we once managed to get all 8 class free....yes i know, we ruled.( i need to mention here it was a class effort).
i remember Lovey Ma'am suspending me from her geography class for one week when i began to laugh hysterically in the chapter about indian fauna for it mentioned wild asses.
i remember Neeti and mine 'cap-and-pen-follow-me' dandia ( don't ask what it was) in Verma Ma'am's class which had us laughing till she threw us out.
i remember how Nilofer ma'am on the last day of school banged her forehead into mine and said," Ana, I banged my head into you three years back and I have been sorry ever since" when i was apologising to her for something.
i remember the harry potter frenzy and the recesses we spent discussing the books which were yet to come. proudly i claim we had developed a series of events involoving draco and harry which is rumoured to be in the 7th book.
i remember me being hit by a basketball straight on the nose on a chilly winter morning. i have a phobia for oncoming airborne things and reflexsively i close my eyes.( but now you know why my nose looks odd. lol)
i remember how Alipt's exam papers would be retarded with things from hindi movies recommendations to the teacher to outlandish definations like a crowbar is the BECK OF THE CROW. not even the beak.....
i remember how sukhman would treat me with a sprite after every class, and for that reason i love the drink to this day.
i remember how once i pinned down a classmate. not really sr oleen's ideal young ladies.
i remember value ed lessons with sr oleen.what a hoot they were! give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning....
n i remember how simple and boy-free our lives were, devoid of any heartache or tears. Alipt and I would giggle ourselves insane over stories of ahem...Nibor I and Nibor II( No questions shall be entertained about their true identities). They were truly school girl crushes which kept our conversations spicy but never had ability to hurt us in any way.
theres tons more i remember and even more that i have forgotten
perhaps thats why school days rock so much!