Dinner Today

Today was a day full of lethargy and irritation for me. I woke up at 1 pm after 11 hours of sleep and then stayed in my room the whole day. I was feeling extremely frustrated and suffocated by about 9 pm. My head was beginning to hurt and the feeling of uselessness has climbed up to my forehead. I did not want to eat anything. I stood in the kitchen awhile and felt that no food seemed appealing today. I felt all food tasted like cardboard. It all seemed the same, bland, tasteless to me. I blamed it upon the poor quality tinned ingredients of England and then upon my cooking.

And then, I decided to venture out to Sainsbury to buy some new ingredients, to inspire me. So after having bought some tomatoes and yogurts I got out and saw a beggar....sitting right outside Sainsbury. I suddenly felt a pang. I put my hand in my shopping bag and took out one cup of yogurt and gave it to him. He was delighted to have the yogurt; he got a big grin on his face and couldn't stop thanking me. As I started walking home I couldn't believe that one pot of yogurt could make a man so happy. I couldn't believe that I was being such bourgeoisie arse with all of my- Oh! I can't bear my 3 course dinner, where there was this man who probably had no food at all. I couldn't reach home. I went back and saw he was asleep. I kept some other food next to him and left. When I was a little away I saw he kept the food in his bag. I was glad he will get something to eat, but alongside I was extremely sad. How can the world be full of unfed and unloved people? How can I be happy when there are others dying of starvation? I was cribbing about being away from home, and here was a man, who probably had no family. How are we to deal with such this worldwide epidemic of poverty? I don't know. I don't know if any efforts made will be enough. But the deeper question is - are we trying? Is the latest car or the even faster high speed internet going to help feed this man? Are we working towards the swaraj of these millions of underfed and underprivileged people? As Arundhati Roy says, is it fair that some people have so much, when so many have so little?

We need to get rid of our city eyes, acknowledge the bare truth and keep striving. For an ocean is made up of droplets, after all. I came home, made pasta and ate it with gratitude and awareness.