Love

Prem gali aati sankri ja main do na samaye 

Main hu to wo naaye wo hai to main naaye

The street of love is very narrow and two won't pass through

If I come then he can't and if does then I can't

Love, I can't believe that I have met you. That I ever did something so good that I deserved to meet you. To see you, to touch you and mostly to love you. From the time I saw you, something changed inside me. Something transformed. Something blossomed. With each growing day i want to become more and more like you. Become more you. I don't think it will ever matter if you love me back or not. I love you and that the universe chose me to love you is the most sacred thing to me. Who won't love you? But you grace me, overwhelm me. You acknowledge my love. 

Words will never do, but let me try again. I love you

The Maggots

At sunset, on the river ban, Krishna
Loved her for the last time and left...
That night in her husband's arms, Radha felt
So dead that he asked, What is wrong,
Do you mind my kisses, love? And she said,
No, not at all, but thought, What is
It to the corpse if the maggots nip?

Kamala Das

On Meeting The Beloved

I close my eyes and you are there
I open my eyes and you are there
Oh Beloved! You are such a tease
Tell me where are you closer?

Ana Gupta

Jan 2010

Happy Janamashtmi!

I danced before my Giridhara.
Again and again I dance
To please that discerning critic,
And put His former love to the test.
I put on the anklets
Of the love of Shyam,
And behold! My Mohan stays true.
Worldly shame and family custom
I have cast to the winds.
I do not forget the beauty of the Beloved
Even for an instant.
Mira is dyed deeply in the dye of Hari

-Mirabai

A STORY ABOUT DEVOTION

This is a story I heard from Pankaj Bhaiya at the Punjab AMC in the Bangalore Ashram.

Nizam ud-Din Auliya, a great Sufi saint was being visited by a man whose daughter was getting married. He asked Nizam ud-Din for gifts for his daughter's marriage. The Nizam said he had nothing to give, but whatever offerings any devote brought, the Nizam would give it to the man. Thus, the man started waiting, waiting for a devote to come by with gifts. A day passed, but no gifts came by. Disappointed, the man asked the saint for the permission to leave. The saint asked him to wait some more. Yet another day passed and there was no sign of any gifts. The man finally told the Nizam that he had to leave now, for otherwise he would be late for his daughter's wedding. It did not matter if there were no gifts. The saint's blessings were enough for him. But the Nizam said that he could not send the man home empty-handed. Saying that his slippers were all he had, the man could take his slippers. The man felt less than excited at the sight of Nizam ud-Din's old tattered slippers. Nevertheless, he took them along for he wished not to disrespect the saint.

On the way home, the man saw a huge caravan with queues of camels, laden with gold and jewels and riches. The caravan owner came up to the other one and asked for the slippers. The man refused saying that these slippers were given to him and thus he would not give them away. The caravan owner was desperate and kept on persuading the other one for the slippers. Finally, the caravan owner offered his entire caravan, loaded with wealth in exchange of the slippers. The man instantly agreed and was overjoyed to be taking home such riches for his daughter's marriage.

The caravan owner took the slippers reverently and went to the Nizam. And he placed the slippers down and said, "My beloved teacher, someone was taking away these slippers of yours. I gave him all I had and have got them back to you."
And you know who was the caravan owner. He was Amir Khusro.

And you know what did the Nizam say? "Still, it was a bargain.

Ah!

July 03


One of my most loved poets is Jelal-ud-din Muhammad Rumi. A 13th century Persian sufi poet, he has written the most beautiful potry. He wrote his poems for his Guruji - Shamsuddin Muhammad of Tabriz. Since I can not read persian, I have to settle for the English translations by Coleman Barks. Below is a small poem which sometimes comes to me when I think of Guruji.



"I am so small I can barely be seen.
How can this great love be inside me?
Look at your eyes.
They are small, but they see enormous things."

THE SUMMER FEAST

June 28
Banglore AMC


I went to Banglore Ashram for a four day advanced meditation course. It was a Punjab, Himachal Pradesh, Haryana, J & K special AMC but that’s really besides the point. The point is how much I enjoyed it. It was pure, concentrated bliss. Absolutely amazing!
As soon as I reached the Ashram the joy started running through me. We took a few pictures that day of the VM and all but nothing much. Now you come to the ashram and are tottering around, feeling at home and smiling away to glory and then- you see GURUJI in his car going past waving at you! Now that’s like joy raised to power infinity. After that you see him in the satsang- beautiful and divine. Of course, not forgetting accompanied with a dash of the most innocent sense of humour.

Next morning our course started. God save these Punjabis! It does not matter that I was one myself, but we are superb at making noise, distracting sincere participants, doing bhangra at all the wrong times and most importantly saying ‘Jo Bole So Nihaal- Sat Sri Akal’ for absolutely any or no reason. And the frequency of all these things only increased as the course proceeded. Well, to my most pleasant surprise our teachers were Bharat Bhaiya and Pankaj Bhaiya who kept smiling through the painful ordeal of making out of control Panjabis meditate! JJJ First day was great.

The same night we went into silence. (I have no pictures for that period as Dinesh Bhaiya said no photography once we start our silence.) The days in silence were the most beautiful days of my life. There was a nerve in my body which wasn’t relaxed. Each atom of me was smiling! Ah! The delightful sessions with Pankaj Bhaiya, Bharat Bhaiya and Akash Bhaiya. And the lovely meditations in Guruji’s honey voice. He even came personally to take one meditation session with us. Needless to say, it rocked my world.
I loved the satsangs every evening. I wholly followed Dinesh Bhaiya’s advice of only looking at Guruji during the satsang. The greatest darshan is when with your eyes open you see Guruji and as you close your eyes, you see Guruji inside them.
Before I knew silence was over. We had met him in our darshan lines once, and many more times before, during and after the satsang. I had barely any time to complete my long list of shopping I had prepared but managed to scrape through somehow without money and time.
Next morning as our flight took off for back home, the sun started rising. As soon as we we were in air I sat in Sahaj Samadhi. After 20 minutes when I opened my eyes, there was an endless expanse of white clouds, shimmering in the sun’s glow before me. Heaven is a place just a little above the earth.